Her Mother’s Daughter {guest post + mint rice recipe}

November 6, 2012 by

I am excited to share this beautifully written piece by my friend Pratima Anaé. My husband, son and I had the honor of meeting Pratima’s mother during her recent visit to California. We were invited to their lovely home for a delicious home-cooked meal and I even got a first-hand lesson in Indian cooking! Throughout the ages, meals have been a symbol of sharing, nurturing and loving one another. Watching Pratima’s Mom cook with so much pride and joy reminded me of my own family and how culture, food, and tradition can create such deep and meaningful connections. By passing down recipes from generation to generation we can honor our heritage and stay connected to our roots.  

As Americans we share a diverse existence that is both unusual and beautiful.  East Indian immigrants, my family settled in a small Amish town in the Midwest.  There were no other minorities in town and we lived amidst buggies, horse drawn plows, and bonnets.  As such, my mother’s cooking was the most significant connection to my culture.  It was the one thing in our house that truly remained Indian.  Passed down from generations of Indian women with no written recipes, it felt like a direct link to my roots.

My mom, Olga, is an incredible cook and a supremely unique spirit.  Effortlessly combining grace, kindness, and humor in everything she does, she’s just at home fixing an Indian feast for hundreds of people in our backyard as she is riding a John Deere lawn mover in her perfectly coiffed sari.  Our family loves to reminisce about the humor and beauty in the unexpected things she does.  Like the time she fell into a pond chasing dragonflies to help with my sister’s high school biology project.  And then there was the Christmas when we needed a tree and she went out chopped one down from our yard and dragged it in by herself while we watched from the window.  She is the mother whom sprinkles Indian Jasmine in her children’s bed at night.  To know her is to love her.

Pratima with her Mom Olga
Image © Pratima Anaé

I wish that I could invite each one of you to our home to experience my mom’s generosity of spirit and her wonderful food but in lieu of that I am happy to share one of her dishes with you.  This particular recipe for Mint Basmati rice is one of her own creations.  It is not only delicious and elegant but it is also vegan, gluten free, and healthy.  There is nothing like smell or taste to bring back a memory.  There is nothing that makes me feel like home more than my mother’s cooking.  To me it is the heart and essence of India.  Enjoy…

Mint rice

Image © Pratima Anaé

Ingredients

  • 2 cups uncooked jasmine rice
  • 2 1/2 cups water
  • 1 tbsp. butter
  • 2 tbsp. oil
  • 1 or 2 Serrano chilies cut in half
  • 1 cup chopped mint leaves
  • 1 cup chopped cilantro
  • 1-inch piece of fresh ginger root grated
  • 1 tsp. salt more if needed
  • 1 cup yellow cherry tomatoes cut into halves
  • 1 cup lightly blanched sweet pea pods
  • 1 medium carrot cut into small strips
  • 3/4-cup raw peanuts with skins
  • 2 tbsp. light corn syrup

Wash rice and drain.  Combine rice and water.  According to your preference cook rice either in a cooker or on the stovetop. Rice should be fluffy not soft and mushy.  While rice is cooking prepare the vegetables and seasonings.  Slice the cherry tomatoes and Serrano chilies in half.  Blanch the sweet pea pods.  Cut carrots in small strips.  Grate the ginger.  Finely chop the mint and cilantro.  When your prep work is finished and the rice is done cooking, heat oil and butter in a large frying pan.  Add chopped chilies and cook for 30 seconds. Add mint, cilantro and ginger.  Fry for an additional 30 seconds.  Then add cooked rice and salt to taste fry for 1 or 2 minutes. Add peas and carrots.  Transfer the rice to a shallow serving bowl.  Just before serving add tomatoes and caramelized peanuts.

Caramelized peanuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Spread peanuts on baking sheet with foil and lightly roast them in the oven.  When lightly roasted remove peanuts from oven and drizzle with corn syrup. Place them back in the oven and bake for and additional 6 to 8 minutes.

♦ ♦ ♦

Pratima Anaé got her start in the entertainment industry when she was crowned Miss Indiana USA.  She went on to Miss USA and made Miss Universe history as the first woman of East Indian descent to place in the top ten. Currently Pratima is an Actress, Model, and Host.  Her print work has been featured in various publications.  A few of her credits include appearances in “The New Girl” and “Outsourced.” Additionally, Pratima hosts a series of lifestyle events.  She has conducted interviews with Salman Rushdie and Kal Penn in connection with this endeavor.  She most recently started a personal blog entitled, Love Pratima.

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10 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationships

August 30, 2012 by 1 Comment

Image © Natureal Mom 2005

My husband and I celebrated 7 years of marriage this week. Like most couples, we have been through ups and downs, highs and lows. We have come to appreciate the more painful and challenging times as they have  provided invaluable opportunities to grow individually and as a couple.

Marriage and all relationships take a great deal of hard work but they are worth every drop of love and effort that is put into them. I’m by no means a relationship expert, but by learning and applying some basic spiritual principles, the entire course of our marriage has changed for the better. Here are 10 simple tips you can start practicing today!

  1. Communicate.  Be careful how you use (or don’t use) your words.  This is especially tough for me as a Sagittarius! Although I’m usually well-intentioned, I have a tendency to put my foot sometimes. I’m getting better at choosing my words more wisely and speaking simply and from the heart. Silence is also very powerful – it can either hurt or heal depending on how it is used. At times, my husband keeps things bottled up inside and holds back from sharing his emotions with loved ones. He has learned that by communicating and expressing how he feels, people can grow closer together. Remember, each time you speak (or don’t), you have the opportunity to strengthen your relationship or damage it.
  2. Pause.  Sometimes it’s difficult to stop and think about what you are saying when emotions are running wild. In these instances, take some time to process your feelings. Tell your loved one that you need some space and assure him or her that you will come back. Return with a conscious intention to speak calmly with an open mind and softer heart.
  3. Empathetic listening.  Sometimes we think we are listening, when really we are listening to ourselves… what we are going to  say next or how to counter the other persons arguments. Try setting aside your own story and really listen to what the other person is saying and not just what you are hearing. Imagine how this person feels in his or her shoes without making it about you.
  4. Take responsibility.  Instead of focusing on your partners faults or being defensive, recognize how your own words and actions could be causing or perpetuating the situation. I find it helpful to ask myself, “What am I doing to make this situation worse?” and “What can I do to make it better?” Resolve to change the only thing you can change –  your reaction.
  5. Benefit of the doubt.  Although most of us are capable of intentionally saying or doing mean-spirited things to hurt the ones we love when we are upset, conflict is rarely the result of malicious intent. In these instances, acknowledge and communicate your hurt to your partner, but remember a vicious crime wasn’t committed toward you. Instead, see the innate goodness in your partner instead of vilifying him or her.
  6. Let go of being right.  You might be convinced that your perspective is right or have difficulty understanding someone else’s view. Be open to seeing how the other person could also have a valid point  and create room for his or her feelings to co-exist alongside your own without insisting that they are wrong. A spiritual teacher once asked, “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” It’s not a contest of who’s right or wrong –  the goal is for both of you to feel loved, respected and valued.
  7. Forgiveness.  Being human means you will make mistakes – as a partner, friend, child, parent, or any other role you’ll take on in life. This goes the same for the people in your life. Forgive your own mistakes and imperfections, and those of the people around you… and move on.
  8. Continual nourishment.  In order to grow and to flourish, relationships need to be nourished on a regular basis. My husband and I make a point to set some time aside with no distractions. This is not a time to discuss work or problem-solve, but a time to renew and develop our relationship. Taking time to compliment one another, being generous with affection, giving a simple or thoughtful gift, doing an act of kindness and lavishing appreciation are all ways to nourish your relationships.
  9. Be a team.  Yin and Yang are defined as opposite but complementary forces that combine to form harmony. Similarly, people have different strengths and abilities. When combined and partnering together as a team, we can do great things! Remember you are on the same team. My husband and I chose a favorite quote by the Baal Shem Tov for our ketuba (Jewish marriage contract) which serves as a wonderful reminder. “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven, and when two souls that are destined to be together find each other, the streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from that united being.”
  10. Give for the sake of giving.  Try going against your nature and really let go of the expectation that your partner is someone who is there to make you happy and instead focus on truly giving/serving/sharing/meeting your partner’s needs instead. You’ll be amazed at the results!

What tips do you have for creating stronger relationships?  Please share by commenting below!

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Becoming A Lactation Educator & Counselor

August 5, 2012 by 4 Comments

In celebration of World Breastfeeding Awareness Week I wanted to share why I decided to become a Certified Lactation Educator & Counselor (CLEC), what it entails and provide information to those who are interested in pursuing this path.

I believe we go through challenges in life to overcome them, learn from them, and use those experiences to help others who are going through a similar process. Breastfeeding doesn’t always come naturally. I thought because I read a breastfeeding book while I was pregnant and took a childbirth class; it meant that I was fully prepared. I learned that proper preparation includes breastfeeding education, such as taking a breastfeeding class from a qualified Lactation professional, and lining up a good support system. These two things are essential to getting breastfeeding off to a good start.

I experienced many difficulties breastfeeding that lasted for the better part of a year. Although there were times I felt hopeless and wanted to give up, I was determined to carry on. I am grateful to my two wonderful lactation consultants for their support, guidance, compassion and care.

My first lactation consultant came to my house for the first few weeks. She taught me the basics, helped me understand why my babe couldn’t latch-on and worked with us to resolve the issue. I met with my second lactation consultant at her breastfeeding center over the course of several months to work through other obstacles that presented such as recurrent plugged ducts, forceful let-down, oversupply, vasospasm and a very distracted baby who would only feed in the side-lying position!

With their help, along with the love and support of my husband, my babe and I were able to work through these hurdles and go on to enjoy a very rewarding and mutually beneficial breastfeeding relationship. It feels only natural to help other women and families achieve their breastfeeding. And in case you are wondering, I am still happily breastfeeding today!

Image © Natureal Mom 2011
Wearing Mama Pear Designs

What is a Lactation Counselor? CLC’s are hired to help mothers achieve their breastfeeding goals. They observe mother and baby during a feeding session, help facilitate proper positioning and latch, assess milk transfer and intake, address common breastfeeding concerns and refer more complicated cases to a Board Certified Lactation Consultant or health care provider. Lactation Counselors can also be a continuous source of support, guidance and encouragement throughout the breastfeeding journey.

What is a Lactation Educator?  CLE’s serve as a resource for accurate, evidence-based information to families, the public and health care providers. They teach families interested in learning about breastfeeding by providing informational, emotional and practical support. Unfortunately, there’s really a limited amount of information given in standard medical and nursing training with regards to breastfeeding. New mothers are not often set up to succeed because they are not armed with the right information or don’t receive enough good information or support.

My friend Lara, CLEC and founder of Mama Pear Designs referred me to an excellent certification program that is offered through UCSD. The program is offered onsite or online which allows the course to be self-paced with the only deadline being at the end of the course and the clinical/internship hours can be completed locally. There are no prerequisites to the course, but it is a prerequisite for UCSD’s IBCLC program. The course is taught by Gini Baker, RN, MPH, IBCLC.  She is a well-respected expert in the field of Lactation, with more than two decades of experience working with mothers and babies. The course is made up of lecture, videos, assignments, exams, and clinical hours. The final assignment is writing a comprehensive teaching curriculum which prepares you to get out there and get started. I highly recommend this course to anyone with an interest in Lactation Education and Counseling.

For more information about this program, check out Gini’s website and if you have any questions, feel free to contact me or leave a comment below.

For more information about my services please visit http://naturealmom.com/breastfeeding-education-counseling/

 

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Mama to Mama: Words of Wisdom for New Mothers

July 21, 2012 by 6 Comments

“Absorb” by Katie m. Berggren

A deep heartfelt thank you to all my wonderful mama friends for contributing to this post by sharing your personal experiences and sage advice for new mothers and mothers-to-be ♥

  1. Listen, and look into the eyes of your child. He or she will tell you what they need.
  2. Consider joining a new mothers group and/or breastfeeding support group like La Leche League. It is a place to find understanding, sisterhood, knowledge and support. Together you can problem-solve and share the wisdom that you collectively have as mothers of newborns.
  3. You may not bond with your baby immediately, but it’s okay.
  4. Your mood affects your baby’s mood. If you’re feeling anxious, stressed or overwhelmed, take a few minutes to breathe and reset your energy.
  5. Nobody knows your child the way you do. Trust yourself always & your instincts.
  6. When my babe has a meltdown, stepping outside for some fresh air makes everything alright in his world.
  7. Breastfeeding can be a learned art and doesn’t always just happen.  It may take some effort but is mutually beneficial in so many ways. The bonding time is absolutely priceless, and truly a moment to treasure.  If it is something you desire, don’t give up without getting help and support.
  8. Have fun with your kids, laugh with them, make memories. Children remember having fun more than they remember having things. When they’re older, they will look back and remember fun things you did together, not the expensive parties, designer clothes or fancy toys they had.
  9. You WILL mess up.  It’s OK.  There is no such thing as the perfect parent.
  10. Don’t be too dogmatic towards any one direction. I learned the most important thing is being open and going with the flow.
  11. Take a ton of pictures. They really, truly grow up way too fast & you’ll be so happy with all the seemingly redundant, interesting-to-no-one-else-but-you pictures.
  12. Above all else, you and your baby are the most important concern ~ be together, sleep together, look at each other, snuggle skin to skin, enjoy each other.
  13. Be okay with saying “this is what works for us” when folks give their advice on how you should change or do things their way. Listen to all the advice but only do what you feel is best for your family.
  14. Ask for help and accept it when it’s offered – whatever it is, lactation consultant, asking for someone to bring meals (check out Meal Baby), letting messes pile up, hiring someone if you can, etc.  It’s okay not to be able to do it all. When they say it takes a village, sometimes it literally does.
  15. I learned not to be judgmental of other mom’s parenting choices and not letting judgy moms affect my choices.
  16. Take photos, get their feet and hand printed and make notes in a book for your babe ~ little letters are good. Don’t stress over having a perfect scrap book, something is better than nothing.
  17. Find a special song to sing to your little one.
  18. When something seems fishy, don’t necessarily Google it! You might be freaked out more than necessary.
  19. If you have a partner, it’s so important to get them involved straight away. It’s easy to feel left out and insignificant at this stage. Get them to help with bathing, changing diapers, swaddling, and feeding if that applies. Make a point of encouraging them – tell them they’re doing a great job, even if you might have done a better job with the diaper!
  20. I had post-partum depression, and I had no idea. I wish I had been better informed about what needs attention. The women in my community encouraged me to get help and I went to a wonderful homeopath and could not believe how much better I was after she began to treat me.
  21. It’s easy to really let yourself go and difficult for a lot of women to “get your mojo back.” Don’t be so hard on yourself. There must be forgiveness and balance with all of it.
  22. Just when you think you got your kids figured out, they move on to the next thing. I mastered diapers and now my daughter is onto pull-ups. Or I found the right way to swaddle and now my son is rolling over and can’t be swaddled anymore.
  23. Everyone says this one for a reason… sleep when the baby sleeps!
  24. To keep your relationship strong when two become three, I would say this: Be gentle with each other. Be patient. Recognize that parenting really is a full-time job, and work out between you how you can work together and share the load.
  25. Take care of yourself. We get so busy taking care of our tiny, precious one that we sometimes forget about ourselves. Make sure you are eating well and drinking enough water.
  26. It’s okay to not get everything done in one day like you used to prior to having baby. Chores and errands can wait.
  27. Do something nice for yourself every single day.
  28. Be the person you want your children to be…because they are always watching.
  29. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can.
  30. Kiss & hug them as much as you can.  Savor every single moment possible. It goes by far too fast.

Do you have some words of wisdom to share? Please add to the list by commenting below!

 

Filed Under: Baby + Kids, Community, Connecting, Parenting, Pregnancy + Birth, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Your Own Song

July 19, 2012 by Comments

A woman in my local Holistic Mom’s Network chapter shared a beautiful story about how a certain African tribe comes together and uses song to remind us of who we really are. Touching my heart with inspiring words of wisdom, I share this story with you.

There is a tribe in Africa where the birth date of a child is not counted on the day of his birth or when he was conceived, but on the day he was a thought in his mother’s mind.

She would go out into the wilderness and sit under a tree and listen until she heard the song of the child, for every soul has its own vibration that expresses its unique purpose. She would then return to the tribe and teach it to the midwives and older women in the village who would also sing the child’s song.

When the child is born, the community gathers and sings the child’s song to him or her. Later, when the child enters education, the village gathers and chants the child’s song. When the child passes through the initiation to adulthood, the people again come together and sing. At the time of marriage, the union hears their song. Finally, when the his or her soul is about to pass from this world, the community gathers again, just as they did at his or her birth, to sing the soul into the next life.

There is one other occasion upon which the village would sing to the child. If at any time during his or her life, the person commits a crime or aberrant act, the individual is called to the center of the village and the people in the community form a circle around him or her and sing the song.

The tribe recognizes that the correction for negative behavior is not punishment, but rather love and the remembrance of identity. When you recognize your own song, you have no desire to do anything that would hurt yourself or another.

We all have times in our life when we get off course and lose sight of who we are.  The essence of who we truly are is often hidden by our perceived limitations, mistakes, insecurities and fears. We all have a unique melody that we came into this world to express, and when we’ve forgotten the words to our song, our friends, family and community are there to sing it back to us!

 

Filed Under: Baby + Kids, Community, Connecting, Inspiration, Parenting, Pregnancy + Birth, Spirituality Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Father’s Day Guest Post by Natureal Dad

June 17, 2012 by 4 Comments

Image © Natureal Mom

Ok. Honest Truth: When my wife asked if I would like to do a guest blog for Father’s Day, my first instinct was to roll my eyes. Is this how I am going to spend my morning? Writing a blog post? Seriously? It’s Father’s Day! Shouldn’t I be able to wake up when I want, watch the game, drink my favorite beer and just relax? I run my own business and I’m pretty much glued to a laptop or phone seven days a week. I’d rather be reading the Steve Jobs book that came in the mail yesterday. However, I’m going to briefly step out of my comfort zone this morning and write a little something. To me, part of striving to be a better father is being a better husband and I know how much this means to my wife, so here it goes! Maybe I’ll learn a little something too.

I don’t know who my biological father is. I was adopted at about 4 weeks of age by my parents and I only have a little bit of volunteered information about my biological parents’ background. I know that they were very young when they conceived me and like many teenage parents, were unprepared to care for a baby. My biological father was a drug addict and from what I can tell, not the most responsible individual. He disappeared after learning of the pregnancy and didn’t even show up to sign the adoption papers.

Whenever the topic of adoption comes up in conversation, I’m often asked if I have a desire to seek out my birth parents. I’ve now come to know several people who were adopted and have sought out their biological parents, all with different outcomes. Some favorable, some not. Of course there is always a little curious voice in my head that wonders what it would be like to meet them, but my answer is always a resounding “no.” I honestly have no desire to find them. Two strangers who may resemble me in looks, but not in spirit or values? What’s the point? My real Mom and Dad are the ones who showed me unconditional love and taught me the values of hard-work, loyalty, dedication and respect for other people.

I always speak to others about how amazing my Dad is and I probably don’t tell him enough how much I appreciate him or how much I feel blessed that the stars aligned the way they did. In my eyes, I only have one Dad. One amazing, incredible Dad.

When I was a kid, my dad worked very long hours as a construction worker. His commute was about an hour and a half each way so he would wake up around 4:30 in the morning, read the paper, have his coffee and hit the road. He worked a long, hard shift but would always come home in time for dinner. We ate every single dinner together as a family and my dad was always present with us. As tired as he’d be after a grueling day of manual labor, he always spent quality time with us and showed us his love and affection.

Dad was always a very “hands-on” type of father. On weekends, we’d go fishing or camping, or he’d be taking me to my soccer or baseball games, cheering me on (though I was always terrible at sports). He taught me how to drive a nail, use a grill, mow the lawn, throw a football, among countless other things. But thinking back now, it wasn’t “what” he taught me that has stuck with me all these years. It’s “how” he taught me. The love, patience, and attention he afforded me was what made all the difference and helped shape the man I am today.

But, times are changing. The type of family environment I grew up in is an anomaly in today’s American life. To make it today in this economy, both parents are working, and some Dads are working double-time just to make ends meet. It’s indeed a rapidly changing world where information, media and technology are king. The odds are stacked against our quality family time even more so than in our parent’s generation. It’s a problem when we pay more attention to our mobile devices than our kids and the stresses of daily life are breaking families apart. It just means we have to try even harder.

I know we can’t all be Super Dad 100% of the time. We all fall short. What we need to ask ourselves as Dads is “what really matters?” My Dad just knew what mattered when it came to raising me and my brother. To me, this Father’s Day isn’t going to be about me just sitting back, relaxing and being appreciated as a Dad. I’m always appreciated, whether I realize it or not. Today is about me appreciating my son, wife, parents and all of the blessings that come along with the privilege of being a Dad. If I can give my son even a fraction of the love and care my Dad showed me, I’ll be doing pretty good.

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Mother’s Day Poem

May 13, 2012 by Comments

Image © Natureal Mom & Christina Dely Photography

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as
living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the
infinite, and He bends you with His might that
His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He
Loves also the bow that is stable.

On Children, from The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran
First published in 1923

This poem has many profound messages and is a reminder that our children are who they are – their own unique seeds that already contain everything within them to thrive. As parents, it is our role to nourish their environment so that they can sprout, unfold and grow into their fullest potential and uncover their own special purpose.

Maternity photograph taken by Christina Dely Photography at the Hannah Carter Japanese Garden

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The Family Dinner

March 10, 2012 by Comments

There is great meaning in the simple daily ritual of gathering together for an evening meal. We have dinner together as a family almost every night. We have come to know a rhythm of preparing the meal, setting the table, taking a moment of blessings and gratitude, connecting, eating and cleaning up together.

We don’t have a yard with our own garden yet but every Sunday we walk to the local farmer’s market and gather fresh seasonal and organic fruits, vegetables and herbs that will be used to prepare wholesome, nourishing meals throughout the week.

Natureal Dad & Natureal Baby ~ 2011

We eat close to the earth keeping away from highly processed, genetically modified or overly sweetened foods. Our meals are simple yet flavorful and consist of different kinds of grains, legumes, colorful fruits and vegetables. We prepare lots of soups, stews and salads.

Local Farmers Market

Our child is still very young but he takes part in the process by helping to soak beans, rinse vegetables and dry dishes. A personally cherished part of our mealtime tradition is setting a beautiful table. The table is usually covered with one of my grandmother’s tablecloths that have been passed down to me. Fresh flowers are displayed and seasonal touches are added like leaves, branches, acorns, flowers, pinecones and berries. Handcrafted cherry wood plates, bowls, cutlery, and cloth napkins are set for each meal. A candle is lit to bring reverence to a special time as we all sit in one space together as a family. After the plates are rinsed, we occasionally take a moment to apply an all-natural beeswax polish with jojoba oil to seal each wooden piece.

In our home, we start the meal by holding hands to form unity and say a blessing over our food. After the blessing is said we take a moment to be grateful for each other and the earth from which our food comes. During the meal we exchange our thoughts, share experiences and things learned. We choose not to have adult conversation at the dinner table. The mood is relaxed, light and loving. We also do not watch television, answer the phone, check emails, texts or allow other intrusions during this sacred time. On Friday evenings, we welcome Shabbat (Sabbath) and add special candles, wine and challah (braided egg bread) to the meal and recite special blessings and sing songs.

Studies have also shown many benefits for families that eat together. Kids are more likely to do well in their studies, have good social skills, eat more fruits and vegetables, build their vocabularies, and are less likely to engage in destructive behaviors, suffer from depression or develop eating disorders. Another study found that mothers who put in long hours on the job reported less stress, strain and conflict if they were able to make it home in time for dinner.

Family meals cultivate warmth, security and a sense of belonging. May your meal time with your family be met with beauty, love and togetherness. ♥

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